Parenting

Saying goodbye to Dummies.

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Oh my goodness. No sooner do I go on a rant about how my son has a dummy at 3 and a half years and so what of it after Harper Beckham having a dummy caused uproar, than a week or so later, we are saying goodbye.

 
Why? We have no choice and my little man has been heartbroken.dummies1

 
We have just enjoyed the most fantastic long weekend, camping with my sister in her campervan on the North East coast of Yorkshire, in Filey. We had glorious weather and enjoyed the beach, swimming, meeting friends, making new friends and one of the things I loved was the safety of the site. Little man was able to make friends with the children camping around us and they were able to play and roam and explore with one of the parents keeping an eye.

 
It was Sunday morning and we were packing up. Little man was riding his bike, and having a great time. He was riding in circles and misjudged it. He tried to turn in a tight circle, turned the handle bars too much and fell off. His mouth took the impact.

 
Screams and blood came pouring out. You know what mouths are like. They heal quickly but my goodness do they bleed. I ran to him and sat on the road, put him on my knee and cuddled him. After a minute or so, knowing that he was bleeding, I had a look, expecting to see that his tooth had gone through his lip. It was worse than that, it was his left front tooth. The one that he always knocks. It’s been grey and slowly come back to white and has a tiny chip out of it already.

 
The tooth was a good 4-5mm lower than the other one, it had come out a little. I felt sick. Not at the blood but at the damage and the possible treatment he would have to endure and that he may end up losing it. My gorgeous little boy, gap toothed for 4 years or so.

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We raced to the dentist and thankfully he had done the best thing that he could has done (silver lining) and that hopefully it will spontaneously reposition itself.
Thank goodness for that. However, it may not need pulling out but his lips, gum and teeth are so sore. I told him that it was going to hurt but he was so sad and tired after the trauma of it all that he was desperate for his dummy. ‘Come on A, you can do it’ he said and put it in his mouth. His face crumbled as he took it out and cried that it hurt. The tears weren’t because of the pain but because he couldn’t have his dummy. ‘I’m so upset Mummy, I’m so sad that I can’t have my dummy’. He calmed down and I managed to divert his attention but during the afternoon and evening, whenever he remembered or felt tired, he cried and cried his little heart out.

 

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We had a chat about his dummy’s and that the dentist had said that it was time to give up dummy’s for good and I cheered him on by suggesting we buy a goodbye dummy’s present. Just before the shops closed, we went to the shops and he chose a truck.

 
Bedtime, of course, brought more tears. I was expecting them and we sat and cuddled, read books and watched some tv as a treat. He was so tired that he went to sleep relatively easily but later than usual. He woke early and instead of lying and dozing as he used to do, he was wide awake immediately – a side effect of no dummy.

 
As his dummy was limited for bed only, he didn’t miss it on day 2 and it was only as we climbed the stairs to bed that he remembered and started to cry. Such a sad, heartbroken cry. He wanted to try a dummy again to see if it still hurt but I reminded him that it would and that he had his new truck as his goodbye dummy present and he said he would give the truck back! Oh dear!
I knew that this would happen and so I had cut the teats off all his dummies and thrown them away so that I couldn’t have a moment of weakness.

 
We went through the same routine as the night before and after tears and cuddles, he went to sleep. I had tried to appease him though buy suggesting though that if he managed to sleep without his dummy, we could go out and buy another little treat. Oh god, I’m so weak!
Today is day 3 and we are now the proud owners of a car transporter! I must be stronger! No more presents!

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Guilt. Bloomin Mummy guilt. It is nonstop. I feel so bad for him but I know that it’s best this way. The poor boy has to go cold turkey whether we or he wants to or not and it would be bad of me to give it back to him when his mouth heals, only to have to go through this again in the future.
I’m hoping that tonight will be easier and that we’ll have less tears. Everyone has told me that the first 2 or 3 days are the worst and I know this myself. It’s just so much harder when it’s your own child.

Here we are on the morning of day 4. Last night we had no tears. He saw these photos as I was editing them (silly mummy!) and he said ‘those are my dummy’s Mummy’ but that was that. No tears, no nothing. I just find it takes longer to calm him down (from being a crazy live wire) and in turn, he goes to sleep later but I’m sure time will change that. 

 
Are you facing this soon or have you been through the dreaded dummy removal?

Love

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10 Comments

  1. Aww Hannah 🙁 your poor little man, bless him. Hope his mouth is getting better. My little boy is also nearing 3 1/2 and has a dummy at bedtime and we are soon going to be tackling taking it away with presents and cold turkey, I am dreading it but this post has told me that I’m not alone! 🙂 xx

  2. My daughter was the same, dummy restricted to bed time also, so day time, no problem!!
    We hung each dummy with ribbon and hung it on a tree for the fairies to come and take to deliver to new babies, who needed them more than my “big” girl.
    Few nights of crying and would have been soooooo easy to give them back, to ease my guilt!! Be strong and will get easier each night! Xx

  3. Hi Hannah, I feel your pain! My little girl has just turned three and has given up her dummy. Well, not so much given up – we only had one left and we lost it, so she hasn’t had any say in the matter! I refused to buy any more! And this was a girl who LOVED her dummy. And not just at bedtime. So the poor thing’s gone cold turkey. But she’s handled it far better than I thought. The main drawback I’m finding so far is that, like you mentioned with your little boy, she won’t doze on a morning anymore – she’s waking up earlier and is wide awake immediately. Bummer. And don’t feel guilty about buying a present – I did exactly the same thing and it definitely helped. She’s now cuddling up to her Care Bear rather than her dummy! Hope your little boy’s tooth recovers ok, how awful. But definitely a perfect opportunity to give up the dum-dum!!! XxX

  4. On hun. It must be so hard. Mine never used dummies. they just never took to them and I guess I was glad of it in the end. Just stay strong and stick to the plan. Try to give him rewards that aren’t new toys now or you’ll end up bankrupting yourself. Sending you hugs. xxx

  5. My little brother, in his wild youth, went counter climbing, fell off, and drove a drove right through the skin below his lip: horror show! It’s a wonder any boys live to adulthood.

    As for what we call Binkies in my neck of the woods, it was a long process getting free of them, and it seemed endles and hopeless, and yet it was neither. We keep finding stray abandoned binkies for years afterwards… Good luck!

  6. Aww! Bless him! I hope his mouth isn’t too sore now! I hope things settle down soon x

  7. Lamb is 2 1/2 and we are really hoping he’s dummy free by 3. He’s recently started taking it out and saying “no need dummy” and “yuk, no like dummy” which is amazing!

    Your poor boy had to go through trauma and completely cold Turkey but you know it will do it good in the long run (the cold turkey, not the trauma!)

    I buy a pressie for lamb just for getting dressed in the morning so you’ve got nothing to feel guilty about! 😉
    Alex x

  8. Ooo poor little guy!
    In glad it didn’t take too long to wean him off the dummy.
    I’ve just chucked the dummy’s in the bed and the twins are crying for them
    With Noah he happily gave up his dummy at 3 and Ru he stopped having his at 6 months. Just the crazy twins who are sent to try me

  9. Ahhh bless his heart. My middley was only one of my 3 to take a dummy and we gave them to the dummy fairy at about 3…. it was tough but she needed it as she had a strong lisp…. #WeekendBlogshare

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