As your first day at Primary School approaches……I shouldn’t be writing this to you right now. You’re too young for this letter. You’re surely not old enough yet. Are you?
I shouldn’t have to write this until you’re much older but as if in the blink of an eye, here you are. 4yrs (and a half) as you proudly correct anyone that labels you 4! 4 years and 8 months to be exact. I wish you were older before this day came but glad you’re not younger as time creeps up on us. In a week, you start Primary School. School. Big boy school. I truly cannot believe that this day is here.
You, I think, are ready for this. A little part of me worries that you’ll get a shock when you realise that it’s not just for a short time, that it’s 5 days a week, every week and that your little life has changed. You want to go back to Pre-school. I’ve told you that I’ll arrange a visit but you have made sure to explain that you want to go ‘inside’ and not just drive past. I think you’re just starting to realise that you are not going to be going there anymore. I didn’t want to spell this out to you 100% until I had to, as you can be very sensitive and could be very sad about this and I didn’t want to make your last days there upsetting.
You’re a gentle soul. Not many people know that. You’re so very kind and caring (your Pre-School praised you on this) and you sometimes feel afraid. You are incredibly loving and such a happy boy although you do sometimes feel anxious. It’s this that makes me worry a little but I know that the other side of your personality will help you too. You are strong, independent, capable and very funny. I love our little knock knock jokes and I’m sure that your friends will too.
I know that you’ll love school. Your thirst for knowledge right now is so strong. You love to sound out words and ask me to spell things. You try to recognise all the letters on street signs and can read one or two words already. Your number skills are pretty awesome buddy. You can count to a hundred with a little guidance, can count in 2’s to 14 and love ‘adding and take away’ that we play with coins. You don’t just ask ‘why’ now, you’ve started to ask ‘how’ and sometimes the answers are a little tricky! We get there and I can’t wait until you find something that you feel really passionate about (besides diggers and paw patrol)!
You have decided to work hard at school as we talk about how to earn ‘pennies’ and that different jobs will allow you to earn more or less. Right now, you’d like to be a Vet as you adore animals, you want to drive a Police car and then maybe on the weekends, you’d like to be a Triathlete and a Gymnast. We have the Olympics to thank for your new sports goals as you have truly loved watching all the races – chanting ‘come on Mo, come on Mo’ as he won.
I know that you will cope and that you’ll find your place but it’s so very scary and heartbreaking for me!! I feel sad that you’ll fall over and I won’t be able to cuddle you and make it better. That you’ll be poorly one day and maybe even sick and you’ll have to wait for me to come and get you before I can snuggle you up. I worry that you’re not going to eat your lunch, that you’ll be hungry and maybe I’m being mean by not sending you with a pack up but I hope you will try things and see that although it’s a bit different to the way Mummy does it, it’s still yummy.
I feel sad as our time together is over. No longer will I have you to myself so much. No longer will we see a sunny day and be spontaneous and all our favourite little spots will be busy as we’ll be like everyone else and only able to go at the weekend and holidays. I’m going to miss our slow mornings. Not just because of the rush for school, but because I love that we wake up and play and potter around in our Pj’s.
I’ll be ok though. You’ll be ok though. You have grown into the most wonderful little boy. I love you with all my being. You make me smile, laugh, be proud. I am so proud of you. My one and only sunshine.
I never understood why other Mummy’s cried when the first day of school came. I presumed it was only mum’s that had not sent their children to preschool. But now I get it. It’s not that physical fact that you are going to be at school everyday, so much, but the feeling behind it. It feels like it’s the end of my little baby! Those preschool days are gone forever. When I pictured being a Mummy, I dreamt of my newborn snuggles, my wobbly legged toddler and my chatty little boy. I never imagined the days when my baby had grown up. These days are new to me and I’ll be learning with you.
I can’t wait to watch you grow in every way. To listen to your stories of friends and exciting things that happened. Please don’t stop telling me about your day (although I know that you will!!).
I thought long and hard about which school would be best for you and I hope that I was right. It’s a lovely little school and I think that you’re going to do so well there. You are going with 3 friends which makes me feel so much better and I know that you will make many more. There are only 8 children in your class and you’ll share your room with the Year 1 children too. You’re going to have so many fabulous experiences.
I love you Bubs. I love you to Spain, Wales, Auntie Rachael’s house, to Africa, Australia, to the moon, to the river, and back again.