10 ways to find out if you’re ready for a puppy.
Look at that picture. A real life Andrex puppy, snuggled up and looking sweet and serene. You want one? Sure! Go for it. Are you ready for it though? Not sure? Read on to find out.
Having a puppy is one of the best things I’ve ever done. We love Bella. She is loving and wants to be with us all of the time…..
1. Find a big teddy bear. Tie it to your ankle with a piece of string and let it trail about 10 cm behind you. Walk around. Run up the stairs, go about your day. Try and squeeze through doorways. See how many times you trip over, stand on the teddy or get stuck in a door. Run faster? It’ll bounce around your legs even crazier. This is your new life with a puppy.
2. Back to the teddy bear. Untie it, but only long enough to sew needles and pins to it like a weird voodoo doll. Tie the bear back on to your ankle and go about your life again. Ouch. Go to sleep and get someone to attack your feet with needle accessorised salad tongs. Ouch again. Welcome to your new world, and yes, puppy baby teeth are razor sharp like needles.
3. Next, make some mashed potato. Add some warm gravy and a bit of sticky marmite. Drop a nice pile on your carpet, or the one place that you’d hate it most. Try and pick it up with a small plastic bag (who’s perfume makes the contents smell 10 times worse) and clean the carpet. Do it 3 or 4 times a day. For authenticity, stand in the freezing, wet garden for 20 mins, imagining your future pup. Come back inside and then immediately drop your mash concoction. Frustrated much?!
4. Make a cup of tea. Throw a few obstacles on the floor. Blindfold yourself. Walk around the house at speed, leaving spills of tea, here there and everywhere. Next, wearing only socks (but still the blindfold) find your way back to your starting point. Mmmmmn, warm, wet socks. Clean up. Step in the one puddle you missed and start again.
5. Now. Take one of your nicest shoes, a pretty cushion or a nice dress. Give it to a goat. Try and get it back. You’re welcome.
6. Take a fork and stab your chair legs. Drag it along and chip the wood. Woo hoo! How do you feel about that? Teething puppies rock!
7. Buy a lovely dog bed. Spend a decent amount of money on it. Put it in the corner and do nothing with it. It’s amazing how they love the sofa and ignore their beds. Alternatively, cover it with mud and slash it with scissors, pull out a bit of stuffing. Try and fit it in your washing machine. Give up and bin it. Buy a cheaper one and ignore it as your puppy most likely will.
8. Go on youtube. Find a video of a dog howling, crying and whimpering. Play it full blast and try to sleep. If you can’t, find something heavy and lay it on top of you in bed. Set your alarm for every few hours. Drag the heavy object in the garden and stand there bleary eyed. Go back to bed and restart the howling video. Until you give in again, and then try and sleep with the heavy object again. Get up at 5.30am. Morning!
9. Wait for it to rain. Go out and jump in mud. Splatter it on your legs. Repeat 3 times a day. Oh, the joys of walking a dog in winter!
10. Eat and drink. Put your cup and plate down on low surfaces. Leave the table mid meal. Ask a friend to steal your food when you’re not looking. For the full experience, get them to smear some of the stolen food on your bed. Don’t realise until you’re just about to climb into bed.
So you can handle all that? It’s not all that bad if you’re prepared for it and only lasts a few weeks. We now have a 6 month old beauty who doesn’t chew so much, sleeps all night, and is *whisper* toilet trained. Hurrah!!!!
They grow so quickly though. I see Bella and she’s so grown up and big. Of course, if you get a smaller breed, they will not grow quite so big but you can’t always be sure – ours looks like she’s going to be a whopper of a Labrador!
Here’s her development from 4 weeks to 6 months
Oh, on a final note, if you have a toddler, you may find that your little one attempts to toilet themselves in the garden………the argument being that ‘Bella does it…!
Thanks for reading x